Which one is correct: “my wife and me” or “my wife and I”?

I came across this question recently and thought I would answer it here.

This question is actually tricky, as either could potentially be correct, depending on how the phrase is used in the sentence.

When to use I

I is the nominative first-person pronoun. We use it when referring to the subject of the sentence:

  • I went to the store.
  • I am baking a cake.
  • I will return before supper.

In all three examples, the pronoun refers to the thing in the sentence doing the action (i.e. going, baking, returning). Whenever you refer to yourself as the subject of a sentence—the thing performing the action in the sentence—use I.

When to use me

Me is the objective first-person pronoun. We use it when referring to an object of the sentence.

  • They sent a letter to me.
  • You love me.
  • She pitched the ball to me.

In all three examples, the pronoun refers to the thing in the sentence having the action (i.e. sending, loving, pitching) done to it. Whenever you refer to yourself as an object of a sentence—a thing that is having something done to it by something else—use me.

Check out the following sentences to see how to use “my wife and me” or “my wife and I”:

  • My wife and I went to the store.
  • My wife and I are baking a cake.
  • My wife and I will return before supper.
  • They sent a letter to my wife and me.
  • You love my wife and me.
  • She pitched the ball to my wife and me.

If you’re still second guessing yourself, try removing the other person from sentence. If it doesn’t make sense, then try the other way:

  • My wife and me went to the store.
  • They sent a letter to my wife and I.
  • My wife and me are baking a cake.
  • She pitched the ball to my wife and I.

See how these don’t make sense?

If you found this post useful, let me know in the comments.

By Kim Siever

I am a copywriter and copyeditor. I blog on writing and social media tips mostly, but I sometimes throw in my thoughts about running a small business. Follow me on Twitter at @hotpepper.